I haven't been going to the gym as much lately as I would like. I need to go back to my schedule of going every other day. Usually when I go to the gym, I go straight to the weights. However, I look forward most to jumping on a treadmill, putting on my headphones (almost always with Set Your Goals playing), and just concentrating on the music and getting out of my own head. After 30 minutes or so, I start my walk back to the dorms and enjoy the runner's high.
Today, however, I couldn't get out of my own head on the treadmill. I couldn't help but focus on everything that's been on my mind the past few days whenever I got a few moments alone. I started walking up the hill to De Neve, enjoying the endorphins being released in my brain, and noticed the beautiful sky. I stopped by LATC to stare at the sunset, but it started going out of view so I continued my walk to De Neve.
I felt great from the run but still a little unsatisfied because my mind had been working too hard. I decided to walk into the De Neve quad to get a better view of the sunset. The buildings were obstructing my view a little, so I kept walking. I ended up walking all the way past Veteran, just trying to focus on the beautiful sky while still allowing myself to reflect a little. Aware of the combination of exhaustion and endorphins runnings its toll on my brain, I just kept walking in pursuit of the perfect view of the sunset. However, no matter how fast I walked, I couldn't keep up with the setting sun. I needed this time to myself, but I just wish I could experience this more often.
I didn't mean for this blog to always be about music, but it's hard when so much of how I deal with events, feelings, and thoughts are connected to music. Here is the Weatherbox song I listened to a couple times on my walk that helped bring me a short-lived sense of clarity.
"10 picket fences for 10 perfect houses
with green little gardens lined up in a row
I walked past the gardens and into the trees
And I found myself rather lost
And I picked a nice clearing I dropped to my knees
I said I will get home at any cost
But they found me in the snow, Icicles on all my clothes
Surrounded in the splinters of 10 picket fences for 10 perfect houses
There shattered and scattered all across the road
I stand and I look at the wreckage around me, I whistle and turn
I start walking home
And it's back through the gardens and through the same trees
to the clearing I passed out in before
And I threw up my hands to admit my defeat
When the chemicals erupted once more
And the clearing grew and began to bend
And all the sun light started pouring in
And you walked up, all bathed in white
And you stripped me naked
You held me tight
But they found me in the snow
Icicles on all my clothes
Surrounded in the splinters"