Saturday, May 2, 2009

Joel Stein's Take on the Time 100

I'm kind of a nerd and a fan of lists, but even if you don't like random lists, you should really check out Joel Stein Ranking the TIME 100. See why he thinks some people on the list were important and others were not. Some highlights:

7. Zac Efron: I interviewed you over coffee and though you didn't say anything that changed my life, I do go to that coffee place now when I'm in the Valley. Aroma has a killer chocolate chip bread pudding!

11. Jay Leno: I was at your show in the dressing room with Ron Paul when another guest, Tom Cruise, came in to thank Paul for some piece of legislation about psychology or something. Cruise left and Paul asked who that guy was. Awesome.

15. Paul Kagame: Ending Rwandan genocide, even for a little while, means I get to stop listening to celebrities talk about Rwandan genocide, even if just for a little while.

17. Nicolas Sarkozy: When Jacques Chirac was President of France, I don't remember seeing one photo of his wife. Now I get my fill of hot French lady photos every week. Merci beaucoup!

27. Sarah Palin: Holy crap that was funny.

29. Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger: You made me pay attention to the part about "in case of a water landing." I always ignore that part, figuring we had no chance.

34. Ted Turner: He created CNN Headline News, which paid me to talk during the inauguration. Guess who watches CNN Headline News instead of CNN during the inauguration? Because I can't

35. The View Ladies: You give wings to the misogyny buried inside of me.

49. Carlos Slim: When the world's third richest person is Mexican, you feel bad about yourself as a Jew.

52. Bernie Madoff: Not good for us Jews

55. Tom Dart: As sheriff in some part of Illinois, he's shutting down prostitution on Craigslist. I've never used Craigslist, but as I get older, I like to know it's there. Just in case.

79. Dan & Sam Houser: I don't play Grand Theft Auto — not because I'm morally opposed, but because it's too confusing for me. It's actually easier to kill a hooker in real life.

84. Norah al-Faiz: Saudi Arabian feminist? You sound as influential as the vegan who works at KFC.

85. Suraya Pakzad: A feminist in Afghanistan? See number 84

92. Doug Melton: You've been on this list twice, and still no one has heard of you. Perhaps this influential list isn't very influential.

90. Manny Pacquiao: Pound for pound the best boxer in the world? That would be awesome if it were 1954. But in 2009, that's right below pound for pound the best Guitar Hero player in the world.

93. Alexander Medvedev: You run Russia. Sure you do.

94. Angela Merkel: Not only don't I live in Germany, but my entire race left there 60 years ago. Do whatever you like, lady, no big deal to me.

98. Robin Chase: Really? Zipcars? You can get on this list for creating something everyone talks about but no one uses? Is the person who invented the dental dam on this list too?

99. Shai Agassi: You work on green transportation. I live in Los Angeles.

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